Metal Gear Solid 4 radio conversations

This is a list of conversations from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots that are either funny or contain secrets.

Snake asks about the GEKKO
Snake: Otacon, those two-legged machines... They're not like the Metal Gears I'm used to dealing with.

Otacon: Right. Strictly speaking, though, they're not Metal Gears.

Snake: What are you talking about?

Otacon: The Gears you've fought before were all basically designed and produced to serve as nuclear platforms. RAY was an exception to the rule, but even that was an anti-Metal Gear weapon designed to defeat all of the Metal Gear clones popping all over the world. Its value was still measured in terms of the framework of nuclear strategy. Its been 25 years since the end of the Cold War. We live in a world of regional conflict and asymmetric warfare - and it's getting worse every year. The age of the war economy is upon us. The value of Metal Gear as a weapon - the very concept itself - has changed with the times. You might even say it's evolved. Nowadays, a Metal Gear needs to be more than a nuclear attack platform. It needs to be adaptable, well-suited to fight in large numbers, traverse urban settings, and work alongside infantry. The Gekko were the answer. There are different types of Gekko designed for different missions, and not all of them are equipped with nuclear capabilities. So technically, they're not Metal Gears. Of course, there are still some of the old Metal Gears around - their primary job is to launch nuclear strikes. But these days, Gekko are the first name in bipedal war machines. They may have gotten smaller, but they're as ferocious as ever. Whatever you do, don't underestimate them.

Snake: Don't worry... I wasn't planning on it.

Redecorating
(Note, call Otacon when you approach the trucks)

Otacon: Are those Gekko on that truck? I always pictured Gekko as being these big, hulking things. But I guess they can fold up pretty small, too. Imagine that. I'll bet I could fit one through my front door if I tried... What do you think?

Snake: Thinking about redecorating?

Otacon: Come on, you don't think I'm that weird. Do you?

Otacon explains about the war
Otacon: During the Cold War, this region was the site of irregular proxy wars fought between the two superpowers. Now that it's over, the ethnic conflicts that were simmering beneath the surface have erupted into full-scale civil wars. Even today, the political situation is fragile. The land and its people have been ravaged and exhausted by years of constant warfare. With food scarce, and the economy near collapse, the country's barely being kept afloat by aid from developed nations. And despite all that, the current regime is still hiring PMCs to put down the anti-government militias, or "terrorists" as they call them. I know security is a big issue, but come on!

Snake: If you've got the money to buy bullets, you should be using it to buy your people bread.

Otacon: That's how a lot of people would put it, yes.

Snake: Makes sense to me.

Reason why Snake's first gun jammed
Otacon: Snake, you know how that first gun you found stopped working? Well, from what I can tell, it looks like the problem was with the ammo.

Snake: The ammo?

Otacon: I'm betting it's because they were using cheap, local ammunition. The ammo probably triggered abnormal combustion, which excessively raised the pressure and caused the cartridges to stick in the chamber. It's a pretty rare phenomenon - I guess you got lucky.

Snake: More like unlucky.

Otacon: Look on the bright side - it means that there weren't any problems with the gun itself! I don't think it will happen again.

Meryl & FOXHOUND
(Note: you need to have encountered Rat Pt. 01 and contact Otacon to unlock this conversation)

Otacon: Hey Snake, that emblem on Meryl's uniform... That's FOXHOUND, isn't it?

Snake: Yep.

Otacon: I thought Meryl was with the 01 Unit. I mean, I know that she's attached to FOXHOUND, and all but still...

Snake: Covert Special Forces units do this kind of thing all the time. They use emblems that don't mean anything, like skulls and stuff.

Otacon: Like disinformation?

Snake: Something like that.

Otacon: I wonder if that's really all it is. Maybe she's still got some lingering attachment...

Snake: You think so?

Otacon: I meant to FOXHOUND.

Snake: I knew that.

Otacon: It's OK if Meryl wants to cling to the past... I just want her to be happy, that's all.

Snake's use of CQC
(Note: you need to have encountered Rat Pt. 01 and contact Otacon to unlock this conversation)

Otacon: Hey Snake, since when did you learn how to use CQC (Close Quarters Combat)?

Snake: I got the training back when I was in FOXHOUND, but I never used it in actual combat.

Otacon: You had those skills all this time and never used them? Why?

Snake: The man who taught me was my former commander in FOXHOUND.

Otacon: Big Boss?

Snake: Never felt right using the technique learned from a man who'd betray his unit. Thinking back, CQC as a concept was [way] ahead of its time. No one was using it yet - not the Green Berets or the SEALS or the CIA Paramilitaries...

Otacon: And then earlier this year the Pentagon declassifies Big Boss's file for some reason. All of a sudden his story is the stuff of pop culture - books, magazines, the net. And now people are taking another look at CQC.

Snake: The war criminal, reinvented as a hero.

Otacon: Big Boss's exploits as a Cold War secret agent back in the 60's have made him a legend.

Snake: The less people know about the truth, the more they can fantasize.

Otacon: Is that the reason why you decided to CQC? Because it is no longer just his, anymore?

Snake: The CQC soldiers are using nowadays is a pale imitation. They're learning from reading about it. I learned from doing, and there's a world of difference.

Otacon: Then you want to teach them the real thing, the way you learned from your fath-- I mean Big Boss.

Snake: That's not it, either. Some things aren't meant to be passed on to future generations. When some guy comes at me using that cookie cutter imitation of CQC, my body just reacts naturally. That's all.

Otacon: Ah, I get it. An eye for an eye. Well, maybe not quite. I reckon they'd lose more than an eye when going up against you.

Van der Waals force
Otacon: Snake, these advanced soldiers seem to be using some sort of device to cling to the walls.

Snake: Doesn't look like they have spikes or suction cups.

Otacon: This is only a guess but I think their gloves and boots might have some mechanism that employs van der waals force.

Snake: Uh huh...

Otacon: It's a type of mutual interaction that occurs between two electrically neutral particles. Geckos use it to crawl up walls and across ceilings.

Snake: That kind of Gecko... But those things are a hell of a lot lighter than a human.

Otacon: Well, I read about an experiment about 10 years ago where they reportedly suspended an object weighing 100 grams using a 50-millimeter square piece of adhesive tape. Assuming the technology's advanced since then, I don't see why these guys couldn't be climbing all over the walls.

Snake: Otacon, what about Vamp? How he ran up that support pillar in the Big Shell? You think that's how he did it?

Otacon: You mean did he have the technology? He could have, yeah.

Snake: So it wasn't that he had some freak, supernatural powers.

Otacon: Hey, when technology starts to test the limits of our imagination, what's the difference?

Rebel guns
Otacon: Snake, you know that the men and women in the rebel army were once regular soldiers in the national army. When the current regime seized power, they were either stripped of their ranks or left on their own accord. At any rate, the vast majority were in the army when the old regime implemented the SOP system.

Snake: Hold on. You're saying they got nanomachines in their bodies?

Otacon: Exactly. But when the regime changed, the System expunged their IDs. That's why they can't use ID guns and fight with naked guns instead. On the other hand, it also means the government can't control the rebel's actions through the System. Or you can look at it another way - if you get a weapon from the rebels, there's no need to involve Drebin. You can use it as is.

Snake: Nice. I'll have to remember that.

Pieuvre Armement
(To get this conversation, contact Otacon after looking at a Pieuvre Armanent advertisement poster)

Snake: The PMC the regime hired is French, isn't it?

Otacon: It sure is. Pieuvre Armement... Octopus Armaments. Why?

Snake: This battlefield ad I'm looking at... It's written in French. "Les tentacules de la pieuvre pour votre guerre!" Means something like, "Arms of the octopus. Arms for your war!"

Otacon: Oh, yeah, I forgot - fluent in six languages. You know, I bet the octopus never saw it coming - someone using its limbs in a wartime advertisement.

Snake: You use what you can. That's what we humans do.

Otacon: Sounds like something a procure-on-site expert would say.

Snake: Is that so, Otacon?

Otacon: I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

Snake gives his sympathies to Campbell
Rosemary: What's up, Snake?

Snake: Got an update for me?

Rosemary: There doesn't seem to be any problem with your Psyche. So far so good. Proceed with the mission.

Snake: Got it.

Campbell: Speaking of food, Snake...

Snake: Colonel? We're in the middle of something here.

Campbell: Have you ever eaten rations from a country other than the US?

Snake: Of course I have.

Campbell: The UN recently held a ration swap meet between military attaches from each member state. It was a momentous development in the cultivation of mutual understanding of other countries' cuisines.

Rosemary: Roy, this isn't really the time...

Campbell: On the contrary. I want you to hear this too, Rose.

Rosemary: I've already heard it a hundred--

Campbell: You'll survive. Anyway, Snake, I did a taste test and found that French rations were generally the best. The Italians' weren't bad, either. And the Japanese stuff was much better than I expected.

Snake: Really. That's wonderful.

Campbell: But everyone seemed to agree that the worst rations of all were ours. America for the win.

Snake: All right... So what's your point?

Campbell: Yep, it must be nice to live in a country that knows how to cook. Those French rations... Delicieux! I wish you would have been there to try some, Snake. And, you too, Rose.

Snake: Colonel, what exactly are you...?

Campbell: Some of the best food I'd ever tasted, Rose.

Rosemary: I'm sorry, Snake. Ever since he went to that swap meet, it's all he can talk about. You'd think he'd never had a decent meal in his life.

Snake: No kidding. Wait a minute. Rose, who does the cooking at your house?

Rosemary: Me. Roy doesn't... What are you getting at?

Snake: Nothing, nevermind. Colonel?

Campbell: Mmm?

Snake: My sympathies.

Campbell: It's appreciated, Snake.

Rosemary: I actually like those American rations!

Furry friends
(To listen to this conversation, contact Otacon while traveling through the duct. Snake's "furry friends" refers to the fact that Snake had help from a pack of rats when traversing through the lower ducts of the tank hangar, during the Shadow Moses Incident.)

Otacon: Taking the duct, eh? Still remember where the exit is?

Snake: Yeah, I'll be fine. Way I remember it, these ducts aren't that complicated. And my old friends are still here to show me the way. I won't get lost.

Otacon: Friends?

Snake: Friends. Little, furry ones.

Otacon: Little? Furry?

Snake: Nevermind.

Snake's the shit!
(Call Otacon when you arrive at the door to the Weapon Storage building)

Otacon: Hey Snake, something I've been meaning to ask you. That canyon... Isn't that where you demolished Raven's tank? How'd you do it, anyway?

Snake: How? Well... Grenades.

Otacon: That's it? You didn't use an anti-tank missile or something?

Snake: Didn't have one.

Otacon: You're technique is kind of - how to put this - archaic when it comes to fighting tanks. Honestly, I don't think it'd work on today's main battle tanks.

Snake: Well, that's how I did it. What do you want me to say?

Otacon: You know, I asked an active-duty Army officer once - if an infantryman had to take on a tank one-on-one, how should he do it?

Snake: And what was his answer?

Otacon: "Don't." He swore there's no way in hell a single infantryman could take down a tank by himself.

Snake: Interesting.

Otacon: I always suspected there was a little something crazy about you, Snake. But hearing that story... Now I know it. You're nuts! Single-handedly taking out a tank? That's crazy! You're insane!

Snake: Otacon, is this your idea of a compliment?

Otacon: Yes! You're the toughest, craziest, most hardcore badass on the planet. You're... the shit!

Warhead removal
(Call Otacon after you arrive in the warhead storage building.)

Otacon: I believe the warheads have been removed from those nuclear missiles. The amount of ionizing radiation the Mk.III's Geiger counter is detecting is significantly lower than what we'd see if there were actual warheads present. Which means, obviously, that you can use heavy weapons without having to worry about igniting leaking radioactive material and causing a nuclear holocaust.

Solid Snake: Nice.

Sea of blood
(To unlock this conversation, go through the hallway where Gray Fox slaughtered the soldiers that were guarding Otacon's lab.)

Otacon: I remember this place. After you beat the Cyborg Ninja, I came out into the hallway and all I saw was a sea of blood. The air was filled with this sickly sweet smell... I remember thinking, "this must be what hell is like." My mind couldn't even process what I was seeing at first. Anyways... Keep following that hallway to the north and you'll reach my lab.

Dead Gekko?
(To activate this conversation, you need to call Otacon when you are near the "downed" Gekko. Be absolutely certain that you don't wake the Gekko before you call.)

Otacon: That Gekko looks as though its drive has gone completely dead. I wonder if it is some sort of mechanical problem... Nevermind that, Snake. No time for dead lizards. Keep moving.

Gekko's hibernation mode
(Call Otacon after you awaken the Gekko)

Otacon: Whoa, what the hell was that? That Gekko must have been in hibernation mode or something. One minute it looks dead, and then... Bam!

Snake: Tell me about it. I think I almost had a heart attack.

Otacon: Seriously, though, who'd have known Gekko had that kind of operational mode?

Snake: Whoever made 'em must've been a real bastard.

Otacon: From now on, you'd better keep both eyes on those Gekko. You don't want to get fooled like that again.

Snake: No disagreement here.

Hind D memories
(To unlock this conversation, simply call Otacon on top of one of the communication towers)

Otacon: That reminds me, Snake. When you fought Liquid's Hind D on the comm tower... There was a nasty blizzard back then, too.

Snake: That was a tough scrape.

Otacon: But you still managed to shoot down his gunship. Up until then, I'd heard that even with a MANPADS, going one on one against an attack chopper was an act of suicide. I thought only Hollywood action stars did that kind of thing. But you made it look easy.

Snake: I just told you it wasn't that easy.

Otacon: Really? But you were all like, "Oh, I had to take out that helicopter." Real cool. Like... like it was nothing.

Snake: All right, enough chit-chat. Let's get going. We've got a long way to go to REX's hangar.

Otacon: Yeah, you're right, Snake.

Rosemary's psychological review
(Note: to get this conversation, you need to shoot a wolf and then call Rosemary.)

Rosemary: Snake, a link between cruelty to animals and antisocial, criminal behavior was established a long time ago. If you keep killing animals for no reason, we will be forced to conduct a thorough psychological review upon your return.

REX's secret to defeating RAY
Otacon: I hate to say it, but I think Liquid's got the advantage when it comes to piloting Metal Gear. After all, he's had RAY in his hands for quite some time now. But not to worry! I was REX's lead designer, and I'm here to support you. I've installed an emulator of REX's CPU and DSP on Gaudi. We'll run it in parallel with REX's processors to enable distributed processing of control tasks. It'll give us a big boost in throughput, which should make REX as fast and agile as RAY.

Snake: I have no idea what that means, but it sounds good to me.

Otacon: It's OK, Snake. I know you can win this!

Snake: Thanks, Otacon.

(after a few seconds)

Otacon: Do me a favor, Snake. Get as close to RAY as you can.

Snake: Get closer? What the hell for?

Otacon: I created a special program back when I was designing REX. I thought it might come in handy here.

Snake: What kind of program?

Otacon: REX is armed with powerful self-defense systems - missiles, laser - designed to protect it during solo ops overseas. But some of us engineers were worried about what would happen if it found itself in a close-range shootout. We got to thinking... Why not use REX's tough shell as a weapon in itself? In other words, why not make it into a street fighter? The program was completed and we got fantastic results on a supercomputer simulation, but the project was shelved before we could make our pitch. Didn't fit in with military regulations. But...

Snake: But?

Otacon: I, went ahead and installed the program anyway. You know... Secretly.

Snake: Seriously?

Otacon: I just rechecked the program on Gaudi's simulator. As far as I can tell, it should work just fine!

Snake: Ok, just tell me how to use it.

Otacon: The project is still in alpha, so its low on flexibility and only gives results in specific cases. I'll give you a signal when the conditions are right to activate it. When you see the signal, just press the Action Button and RAY won't even know what hit it. But first you have to get close to RAY.

Snake: Let's do it.

Otacon: All right, that's what I like to hear!

Won't work this time: Part 1
(To get this conversation, contact Rosemary during the Screaming Mantis fight)

Roy Campbell: Snake, this is Mantis we're talking about...

Rosemary: The fight on Shadow Moses?

Roy Campbell: That's right. Back then, we defeated him by using multiple controller ports to counteract his mind-reading powers. Snake, try using the same tactic again. Plug the controller into controller port two...

Rosemary: It's not going to work, Roy.

Roy Campbell: Huh?

Rosemary: Do you see any controller ports here? Deceiving Mantis is going to take more than simply pushing the PS button to switch controller numbers...

Roy Campbell: But, then... that means...

Rosemary: It's impossible. Sorry.

Roy Campbell: Well, I'll be damned...

Won't work this time: Part 2
(To get this conversation, contact Rosemary again.)

Roy Campbell: Well, so much for the controller. But that Beast has another weak spot. Do you remember what it is?

Snake: Weak spot? You mean the bust modeled on Mantis's true face? The one with the leather bands wrapped around it?

Roy Campbell: That's the one. Mantis always hated seeing his birth face. Attack that bust and break off the leather seal!

Snake: Colonel, I can't do that.

Roy Campbell: Sure you can! Seeing his true face is bound to break Mantis's concentration...

Snake: There's no bust.

Roy Campbell: What?

Snake: There is no bust here to attack.

Roy Campbell: You're kidding!

Won't work this time: Part 3
(To get this conversation, switch the controller to any number other than 1. The Codec call starts automatically.)

Snake: Otacon, what's going on? I can't move!

Otacon: You can't move? What the heck did you... Oh, Snake, did you set the controller number to something other than 1?

Snake: ...

Otacon: Let me guess - you thought back to your battle with Psycho Mantis and figured that the same tactic would actually work again, right?

Snake: Well, I...

Otacon: Nice try, Snake. But this time the controller number has to be 1, or else you can't control your actions.

Snake: What the hell?! Whose dumb idea was that?

Otacon: Don't look at me! I'm sorry, but it's simply not going to work this time around.

Snake: Fine!